Motivation and Reinforced Learning
"Life Lessons" in Your Child's Learning
Go Way Beyond Music

Your child is learning far more than you may know with music, especially if they start young.  It's likely that nothing else in their life has required more time and effort.  They can learn valuable lessons in this process that will help, or hurt, them throughout life.  I don't claim to be an expert in psychology - far from it.  But, I've picked up a few concepts along the way.  And, at the 2003 Winter Workshop (Denver, Colorado, 2/8/2003 - Suzuki Association of Colorado), I benefited greatly from a parent lecture entitled "Motivation: Hands-On for Parents" by Susan Kempter.  The following are simple and logical concepts that should resonate with you.
 

Music is not always Right vs. Wrong

Sure, there are "right" ways and "wrong" ways to play a note or a piece, and we can all hear an instrument that is not in tune.  However, the most valuable lesson a child can learn from music is ambiguity.  Music involves personal expression.  There are variations in tones, speed and feeling that come into play.  There isn't a defined line when you've practiced "enough".  It's important to let your child experience the results of practicing - good or bad.  If they practice, they will see their accomplishments.  They will feel good about themselves after a performance, big or small.  They will see that hard work has positive outcomes.  We're not just talking about music here.  This is something they will carry throughout life.  If they don't practice enough, they will not perform to their expectations and may be discouraged - this too is a valuable lesson.  Our child learned this with her second song, "Twinkle".  She worked very hard at it and could play the entire piece.  Then, through some neglect, both on her part and ours, she missed many home practice sessions.  The result was that she "lost" Twinkle.  She forgot how to play it and made many mistakes.  We both learned from this.  We discussed why it happened, making sure not to imply that it was "bad".  It was just something that happened and we both learned from it.  Then, we carefully set out to re-learn Twinkle with all the same praise and rewards as the first time.  It's important that the child knows it isn't his or her fault.  Effort results in accomplishments in that area.  Lack of efforts doesn't.  So, how much practice is enough?  That is the ambiguity.  It may be different for each child, but at some point they will feel good about themselves and what they've accomplished.  Of course, a child could practice 10 hours a day for years to the point of perfection.  But, that is not the lesson we want to convey.  Your child would probably hate music and practice.


Music as a "Life Lesson"

It's important to discuss and reinforce what your child has accomplished and how they got there.  They must see the relationship between effort and result.  Discuss the long process beginning with the decision to play an instrument and finally being able to play Twinkle.  This is a huge accomplishment!  It may have taken 18 months, or longer, with an enormous investment of time from your child and yourself.  Remind them of each and every step in the learning process: It's a long journey to the goal of playing Twinkle.  And, your child will see the result and will soon recognize how much they have benefited from the effort in future songs.  The hard part is behind them.  Everything they have learned makes learning new songs simple.  Your child will hopefully internalize this concept and someday understand that many good things in life are the direct result of his or her own efforts.


Careful What You Reward

Your praise and reward should be comparable to the magnitude of effort and the results.  Don't overly praise a child when they didn't really work at it.  Save your praise for true effort or your child will quickly learn that small efforts get just as much praise as large efforts.  This is not a lesson you want your child to learn!


Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

Intrinsic motivation can be defined as something closely related to the task at hand (i.e. learning music).  Extrinsic motivation is unrelated.  For example, say you give your child a sticker after practice, or let them watch TV.  This unrelated reward is extrinsic and short-term in nature.  Both the effort (practice) and the reward (TV) are short-term.  There isn't any huge gain from a single practice and when the TV program is over... that's it.  Extrinsic motivation can help you get through the day-to-day efforts, but it should be used sparingly.  A child gets much more out of intrinsic motivation which is closely related and long-term in nature.  For example, if they practice a lot, they can play Twinkle for Grandma.  They will be proud to do this and will also be praised.  It's a long-term goal to do this and it's closely related to the effort expended.  There's an easy way to determine the type of motivation.  If you find yourself saying "If you _______, then I will _____", it's probably extrinsic.  Long-term motivation can also be extrinsic.  For example, you may agree that after 30 times of playing a song, your child gets to go to the park or Chuck E. Cheese.  The reward is long-term, but has nothing to do with music.  We hope you realize that the best motivation is intrinsic and long-term.


Competition Kills Long-Term Motivation... Period.

Our society is highly geared towards competition, whether it be in music, sports, school testing or simple comparisons to others.  Unfortunately, competition is prevalent in music.  There are competitions disguised as "Music Festivals".  In band, there's competition for 1st chair.  Please avoid competition completely, especially for young learners.  If the child doesn't win 1st place or get 1st chair, they will feel like a loser.  This is true even if they win 2nd place.  Think of sports.  In the NFL, there are many teams that play all year towards a single goal... the Superbowl.  However, if the team doesn't win this game, they feel like losers.  Even though they are the 2nd best team in the league, they may feel worse than all the other teams that didn't even get to the Superbowl.  The same is true with music and young children are especially susceptible to adverse feelings.  Older children have begun to develop skill of rationalization.  They may understand that they didn't get 1st place because they just didn't practice as much.  They may tell themselves, "It's O.K. that I didn't win because I've been very involved with school work and basketball.  If I practiced more, I could probably win 1st place."  However, the young child hasn't developed these higher mental skills yet.


Self-Centered vs. Task-Centered Motivation

Some children (and adults!) have self-centered, or ego-based, motivation.  Learning is not done for the sake of learning.  Their main goal is just to get an "A" to impress teachers, parents or others in the class.  These children may not take risks in their education for fear of failure.  They may not ask questions in class which would promote further learning.  They may view the teacher merely as an evaluator rather than a true educator.  These children often excel at determining the goal of the course material and what is likely to appear on tests.  Unfortunately, our education system promotes this behavior and rewards its results with high grades, awards and scholarships.  But, are the children actually learning things that will help them in later life?  That is something we should all be asking ourselves and if we disagree with this mode of learning we should seek other educational solutions for our children.  While we strongly support the Suzuki method of learning music, we're doubtful that we would encourage our child to endure the competitive environment in most school bands.  We believe the main life benefits of music are self expression, enjoyment, relaxation and its intrinsic beauty - not winning 1st chair in band.  Conversely, task-centered motivation deals with actual learning in the subject area.  It is the ability, for example, to translate what is learned in social studies or history into a better understanding of political science or human nature.  It is an awakening that results from learning within the child that is broad-based.  The child feels good about themselves internally for what they have learned and how it can be applied in other aspects of life.  This involves the higher cognitive processes of the human mind rather than the regurgitation of facts.  As an example, a child may see trends in human nature throughout history with respect to advancement, wars and political systems versus simply being able to recall trivia such as the exact date Washington crossed the Delaware river.  When asked what you want your child to gain from their education, wouldn't it be life concepts such as self-esteem, ethics, morals, an ability to succeed in life and enjoy it?  Musical perfectionists may be able to play a piece flawlessly as written through hours of tedious practice, but they may actually hate music because of it.  Their stress level may actual rise when playing music for perfection, rather than soothing the mind by playing pieces to fit their mood.  And, unless they pursue an occupation in playing music, they will probably quit music altogether.
Be Creative With Motivation - Work It Into Daily Life
We all lead busy lives.  We may come home from work very stressed out.  Music practice may be the last thing we want to do - it is hard work after all, right?  Try this intrinsic, long-term motivation technique...  Tell your child, "I've had a really hard day.  I'm tired and stressed out.  It would really help me relax and feel better to sit down and listen to your beautiful music."  Then, do EXACTLY that.  Sit and listen, relax and smile.  Do not worry about right vs. wrong.  Don't correct them on anything.  They will feel very appreciated in knowing that you enjoy the fruits of their labor.  Plus, it's a long-term effort that resulted in their accomplishments and it's directly related to music!


Again, Susan Kempter deserves all credit for the concepts discussed here.  I attended her lecture at the 2003 Winter Workshop, translated some of the concepts and added some of my own personal views and experience.
 
 

Did this article help you?  Send your questions or comments - CONTACT US

- My Music Friend
[Created: 02/09/2003]
[Last Updated: 02/10/2003]